My Rant….

I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed…and I really mean that…there are times when I am just plain stoopid…a six pack short of a carton, a sandwhich should of a picnic,….a french frie short of a happy meal….well you get the picture. However, there is something i really dont understand that has become increasingly evident….

In today’s world, where marriage is hard on a GOOD day, you would think that older, more experienced, and you would hope more MATURE people would want to encourage a young couple who are married and in love. You would think, that with alot of humans on this planet viewing marriage as an antiquated institution, and the rest of them BEMOANING the fact that the world sees marriage as an antiquated instutition,  that the romance of a young couple would stir at least SOME hearts to toss a few encouraging words…..

And yet, tonight, I was put down, for BEING married….by a 43 year old woman who had just proclaimed proudly that she was out to “have fun” and talk about sex, and cyber with as many people as possible…..

Now, as I said…I’m not the SHARPEST tool in the shed…but seriously….is she expecting me to believe that being 43, single, and trolling chat rooms for sex with people you don’t even know and who aren’t even present in real LIFE let alone someone you’re married and in love with…..is she SERIOUSLY expecing me to believe that THAT is more fun?????

And its not the first time that I have been accused of being boring becuase I dont particpate in the blatent exploitation of humanity seeking instant gratification….or for that matter even tolerate HEARING about it….but I can tell you, I have only been married three years, but those three years have been more fun, more fulfilling, more satisfying, more enjoyable, more exciting, and more powerful than the rest of my life COMBINED! I have learnt more about myself, more about life, more about love, more about God, and more about how to recover from trials than I could have ever imagined! Now, you may be rolling your eyes and sighing, but I am SERIOUSLY telling you its true.

I am working on getting my life right with God, learning more about scripture, praying more, stopping and breathing more, smiling more, laughing more, and loving more now, than I ever have before. I am losing weight, I am reaching for my goals and starting to think BIGGER than I could ever have imagined…..

Now…..who the heck would give that up?? I sure as heck wouldnt, and it drives me CRAZY when people put people like me down because we’re young and married. We should be encouraged, edified, lifted up, and guided with love and care, not put down….because we’re the ones trying to live right in a world that hates us.

So the next time you go to tell your married friend that their life is BORING….stop and consider for a moment that perhaps its YOUR life that is the boring one.

Life can be such a funny thing sometimes…..people say at times that something is “really living”….but the truth is life is what happens when you’re just living it. The daily struggles that we go through, the daily thoughts we have, THAT is what living is. Today is our third year anniversary, and it has been a LIFE filled three years. Not all good, not all bad, but it has been more alive to me than the rest of my life combined. People make out that you’re not really “living” til you attain some standard…whether that be money, fame, glory, luxury, a family, kids etc, but I have life cos God has given me life.

My days of late have been filled with the mundane..shopping, working out, study, housework, socialising…just life. I’ve just come through a period of severe discontent where I have felt that I will never attain the life that I want; the level of success, finance, ability, resources, spirituality….and I spose in a way I am STILL fighting those sentiments. I am finding it so hard at times to be just happy in the life I am leading right now, which is stupid because not being happy in ones current situation is wasting time. At times I get down, I struggle with the frustration I have with our life as it is right now. I see my husband frustrated with the life we have right now, wanting more, wanting better prospects, more money, more ability, more energy, and it breaks my heart that he is struggling. I am relying very much on God’s strength right now as mine is failing. Last night I found myself in the middle of the night crying out to God, begging for God’s love to come down and engulf my husband, to show him that his worth is NOT in his job, or lack of prospects, but in God’s love for him. Brad doesnt know that yet, and watching him struggle over and over again with feelings of worthlessness rips me to shreds everyday. Why we are going through this, I dont know. God has to have a plan, but what it is, we really don’t know. but I DO know I love him. I love him SO very much. Under God, Brad is my number one priority in life. I love everything about him, which is why I am SCREAMING inside for more for him.

Despite these feelings, the Lord God is with us. I cling to Him in desperation, and live in the sincere hope that whatever God’s plan is for us that He will reveal it, and soon! I want to do God’s will for my life, and I want Brad to find the same. I don’t EVER want to back away from what God would have us do. I pray with all my heart and soul and being, every fibre in my body, that God doesn’t allow us to pass by what He wants us to do. And I continue to pray for His strength to supplement my failing spirit.